Throw off the bowlines

  Courtesy of Juneau Empire

Juneau's snowfall record for April 17 was buried under more than a half-foot of snow Thursday.

The National Weather Service recorded 7.5 inches of snow Thursday at its Juneau International Airport weather station. The record had been only 1.1 inches, received on April 17 in 1948.

The storm that started Wednesday night dropped a total of 10.5 inches at the airport, 12.5 inches at the service's Juneau office on Mendenhall Loop Road, and 9 inches downtown.

Early Thursday morning, 10 inches of new snow was reported at the base of Eaglecrest Ski Area, which is closed for the season.

Juneau has seen double the average amount of precipitation so far this month, according to meteorologist Brian Bezenek. Through Thursday morning, 3.39 inches of precipitation had fallen in April, and the historical average is an inch and a half. Temperatures also have been cooler than average, Bezenek said.

Dry weather was predicted through this weekend and potentially into next week. A high pressure system centered south of Kodiak Island is expected to dominate the weather, but a marine stratus layer could build and create partly to mostly cloudy skies by early next week. Precipitation is not forecast, however, until possibly next weekend, Bezenek said.

While he called this week's storm "a little odd" for this time of year, Bezenek said such weather is not that unusual during springtime in Juneau. In 1963, for example, a storm dropped nearly 40 inches of snow at the airport during the first few days of April.

The service's long-range forecasts show slightly below normal temperatures through May and June, with normal precipitation. Spring is typically the driest time of year in Southeast Alaska.

Click here to go to story:
http://www.juneauempire.com/stories/041808/loc_269856926.shtml

Why Elk have long antlers...

"It's a guy thing, regardless of Species."

Watch for the 55 Chevy...

For those who grew up on the "outer edge" of these memories.

  Burma Shave with the Statler Brothers

   You may need to watch it twice; once to watch

  the Burma shave signs change and once to catch all

  the pictures plus listening to the music of the

Statler Brothers.  THIS IS REALLY GREAT.

   For those of you too young to remember "too bad

  you missed it!"

     click here:http://oldfortyfives.com/DYRT.htm

A new roast hit the streets on April 8th, Pike Place Roast.  I stopped for a free cup, purchased a new Starbucks card and went a way content.  The new roast is great. It has a smooth subtle flavor and is a welcomed addition to the Starbucks menu.

Starbucks Homepage

A little Christian humor
This is one of the best clean jokes I've seen in awhile!
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better
on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was
tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to
set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will
judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports
They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed
across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power
went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known
in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their
computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:
"It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went
out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from
the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate.
"Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all
his work and I don't have any?"
God just shrugged and said,
JESUS SAVES

Emailed from my friend, Jerry.  Enjoy!

Three Southern Democrats were working up on a cell phone tower: Cooter, Ronnie and DONNIE. As they start their descent Cooter slips, Falls off the tower and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, "Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife."
DONNIE says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it. "

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser. Ronnie says, "Where did you get that beer, DONNIE?" "Cooter's wife gave it to me,"

RONNIE replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"
Well, not exactly", DONNIE says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, you must be Cooter's widow'." She said, "You must be mistaken, I'm not a widow." Then I said "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.

I received this from a friend in Australia, Brendan.  Read it and think about it.

Normally I don't send this kind of stuff. I have a reason..so, just this once......

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door,  I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,  I would video tape each action and word,so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute to stop and say "I love you," Instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day,

Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,so I can let just this one slip away. For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything just right.  There will always be another day to say "I love you,"  And certainly there's another chance to say "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget.  Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,young or old alike,

And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.  So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?

For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone,what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear,  Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear.  Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "I forgive you" "Thank you," or "It's okay."

And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.

Brendan

Courtesy of Stella Awards.com
The Stella Awards were inspired by Stella Liebeck. In 1992, Stella, then 79, spilled a cup of McDonald's coffee onto her lap, burning herself. A New Mexico jury awarded her $2.9 million in damages, but that's not the whole story. Ever since, the name "Stella Award" has been applied to any wild, outrageous, or ridiculous lawsuits -- including bogus cases!

(Click here to confirm these are legitimate.)

#5: Marcy Meckler. While shopping at a mall, Meckler stepped outside and was "attacked" by a squirrel that lived among the trees and bushes. And "while frantically attempting to escape from the squirrel and detach it from her leg, [Meckler] fell and suffered severe injuries," her resulting lawsuit says. That's the mall's fault, the lawsuit claims, demanding in excess of $50,000, based on the mall's "failure to warn" her that squirrels live outside. Read the news article: cbs2chicago.com - Lawsuit: Shopping Center Aided Attacking Squirrel

#4: Ron and Kristie Simmons. The couple's 4-year-old son, Justin, was killed in a tragic lawnmower accident in a licensed daycare facility, and the death was clearly the result of negligence by the daycare providers. The providers were clearly deserving of being sued, yet when the Simmons's discovered the daycare only had $100,000 in insurance, they dropped the case against them and instead sued the manufacturer of the 16-year-old lawn mower because the mower didn't have a safety device that 1) had not been invented at the time of the mower's manufacture, and 2) no safety agency had even suggested needed to be invented. A sympathetic jury still awarded the family $2 million. Read the news article: WDBJ7 Roanoke News and Weather NRV Lynchburg Danville | W&L law ...

#3: Robert Clymer. An FBI agent working a high-profile case in Las Vegas, Clymer allegedly created a disturbance, lost the magazine from his pistol, then crashed his pickup truck in a drunken stupor -- his blood-alcohol level was 0.306 percent, more than three times the legal limit for driving in Nevada. He pled guilty to drunk driving because, his lawyer explained, "With public officials, we expect them to own up to their mistakes and correct them." Yet Clymer had the gall to sue the manufacturer of his pickup truck, and the dealer he bought it from, because he "somehow lost consciousness" and the truck "somehow produced a heavy smoke that filled the passenger cab." Yep: the drunk-driving accident wasn't his fault, but the truck's fault. Just the kind of guy you want carrying a gun in the name of the law. Read the new article from KVBC Channel 3: Local FBI Agent Arrested After Being Found In Bizarre Position

And the winner of the 2006 True Stella Award: Allen Ray Heckard. Even though Heckard is 3 inches shorter, 25 pounds lighter, and 8 years older than former basketball star Michael Jordan, the Portland, Oregon, man says he looks a lot like Jordan, and is often confused for him -- and thus he deserves $52 million "for defamation and permanent injury" -- plus $364 million in "punitive damage for emotional pain and suffering", plus the SAME amount from Nike co-founder Phil Knight, for a grand total of $832 million. He dropped the suit after Nike's lawyers chatted with him, where they presumably explained how they'd counter-sue if he pressed on.  For the PDF of the lawsuit: Oregon Live

©2007 by Randy Cassingham, StellaAwards.com. Reprinted with permission.

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?"  asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City , Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you`can start buying and selling stocks and make Millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

And the moral of this story is: ......... Know where you're going in life... You may already be there.

I received and email from Michael Yon and thought it appropriate to share it with you. 

online version.

Greetings:
It is clear that Iraq is turning a corner.  Not only are Sunni and Shia talking here in Baghdad, but the fighting definitely is abating.  I'll be out in Sunni and Shia neighborhoods all day Tuesday and Wednesday.  Petraeus' ideas are starting to work.
I've been watching for days as LTC Patrick Frank pulls neighborhoods together here in the Rashid district of Baghdad.  We've been swamped going to reconciliation meetings. ( Spent hours in meetings today. )  LTC Frank is one of many battalion commanders I have seen who are winning in their zones.  A Washington Post writer was here for several days  and his observations were similar.
Again, I suggest to media to get in touch with Infantry battalion commanders around Iraq.  They are the sweet-spot on the ups and downs in Iraq.   

I am working with the National Newspaper Association to get the increasingly good news about Iraq to a wider audience. This is described in the latest dispatch, Resistance is Futile. With reader support, this effort can get current news from the ground in Iraq in to 2700 daily and weekly newspapers in the US.  

Michael

Baghdad

We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...

GUTS:  Arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask, "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

    BALLS: Coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're Next!!"

I hope this clears up any confusion of the definitions.

Medically speaking, however, there is no difference in the outcome. Both ultimately result in death.

Sometimes these "heartwarming" stories are a bit too sappy for me but this one is truly interesting...

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE ?