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October 21 The Bathtub TestDuring a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?" ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE ? October 11 Walmart GreeterA new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart just couldn't seem to get to work on time.
Every day 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker and real sharp, so the boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, one day he called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome." "Yes, I know Boss, and I am working on it." "Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though, your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Air Force. What did they say if you came in late there?" "They said ... Good morning, General." October 01 The Mini SkirtIn a crowded city at a crowded bus stop a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on the bus she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the bus' first step. So slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus to discover she still could not make the step. So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more. And for a second time she attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step. About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus. Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, screeching at him "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!!" At this the Texan drawled, "Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends."
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